Please help my mother is crazy?

I really need some advice on how to handle the situation with my mom:


I am 16 and my brother is ten. He is severely autistic and she takes care of him most of the time. He isn't an easy kid and I know it's hard for her, but her behavior has gotten crazier and crazier over the past month. She has been on medication for depression for years. She is a really good mom, but I just think the situation is out of hand at this point. She was always a bit of a germaphob, but now she has become obsessed with bedbugs. She is scared to death that we're going to get them. Her fear is completely irrational and extreme. She makes everyone take their clothes off before we walk into the apartment because she's scared that we will bring bedbugs in. Also, I got back a few weeks ago from a month in China. Any other mother would be super excited to see their kid after that amount of time away. But the first thing my mom does (she wasn't the one picking me up from the airport) is yell at me on the phone to wash all my clothing at my grandparent's apartment, even the clothes i didn't wear because she was terrified that i would bring back bedbugs from china.





She is also really like emotionally fragile. Today she came home holding a few slices of pizza so I was like can i have one? and she said no they're for your brother. So i asked why she didn't call and ask if i wanted one. And then she just lost it entirely. She went off yelling about how i'm so selfish and mean to her and i expect way too much for her that she shouldn't have to bring me home food and that i should have already eaten lunch. When i told her that i didn't eat yet because there was no food she screamed and ran into the kitchen to prove me wrong (i was right there was no food). then she just got angry that i was right.





She has really bad mood swings one minute she's happy and smiling and the next she's yelling and crying. Everything sets her off and i really don't know what to do about it. Whenever i talk to my dad about it he's like yeah i know your mother's crazy. And I'm like so why don't we do something about it. But I think he's just as clueless as i am here.





I can put up with her its not exactly easy to live in the same house as her but I can tolerate it. For my brother though, i dont' think she's a good influence when she looses it. He needs stability and love and her mood swings and temper problems don't exactly fufill that need.





Any advice is really appreciated. I don't really know how to handle her anymore.|||I think that the best thing you can do is to try to understand your mother. It must be extremely difficult and stressful to take care of your brother. Your mother is probably going to be doing it for the rest of her life -which is a lot to have on her shoulders, along with worrying about what happens to him after she is gone. I would say that your mother feels very overwhelmed and as if she is not in control of her own life. That is probably why she is freaking out about the bedbugs. Like most people who develop OCD traits, she is unconsciously using the bedbugs as a way to have control over her life. She can't control all of the stress that life is throwing at her, but she can control whether or not bedbugs get into her house.





With the pizza episode, I would say that your mother overreacted because your wanting pizza and her not being able to give you some/not calling ahead/not having food in the house is seen by her as just one more example of how she can't handle all that life is throwing at her. She mother was reacting to her own feelings of being overwhelmed, *not* against you.





Your mom may need some sort of medication for anxiety or stress, I don't know - I'm not a psychologist. But I do think that she needs some consideration and help. She is obviously *way* stressed. Try to be independent and take care of yourself. You're 16 now, you can manage ;). If she comes home with pizza for your brother and there's no food in the house - *offer to go shopping and pick some pizza up for yourself on the way to the store*. Take on a few of your mom's regular chores. Does she cook dinner every night? Why not offer to cook dinner two or three nights a week? If you do, make them scheduled days - like every Tuesday and Thursday. That way your mom will always know that things will be a little easier for her on those nights. Give her an hour or two, or even an entire evening, off every week or two. You and your father should be able to manage this. When you give her time off, make sure that she leaves the house and goes and does something fun.





It would also probably be a great idea for your mother to start seeing a therapist. Someone that she can go to and unload all of her stresses and worries on. She probably feels like she shouldn't complain to you or your father about all of the work that she has to do everyday. She probably feels like she can't complain because she is doing the work out of love for your brother - but she still deserves to complain and vent sometimes.|||This is like a book I read called The Illustrated Mum. Read it and you'll know what to do.|||Hi.


I have not exactly been on the same boat as you, and I haven't even gone through that halfway, so I can't exactly offer a word of comfort, but I hope you take care and good luck with your mom.


At this point, maybe you should just sit her down and talk to her and tell you're worried, and it hurts you, and your brother. Then again, it isn't easy to handle children,work,family,social life. She's trying her hardest but she simply can't take it all at once all the time. And that's okay, we all break down.


I guess all you can do is do some research on bedbugs and show it to her, explain there's nothing to worry about. And, tell her that your brother needs her to be stronger. If she refuses to accept the fact bedbugs aren't TOO dangerous, then just help her out. Clean the house often, wash sheets weekly, clothes, and just little things like that to help her out. You can also occupy yourself with stocking the fridge, and if you drive, you can buy groceries. Take some things off her plate.


If that doesn't work, maybe she should switch her meds and see a doctor. But talk to her first, if that doesn't work out, just try to help her and accommodate yourself to her needs and what she wants.


Sorry if this doesn't help, I'm only 14.


Best of luck, take care/


-MissThingThingg|||First off, I would like to congratulate you on your patience for living under those circumstances. I would also like to give praise to your mother for trying to take care of your brother and her sickness (depression) at the same time. You do need some help. Living under those circumstances are difficult as they are, but they shouldn't be that bad.





When a depressed person lashes out in anger, don't take it personally. They are actually mad at themselves and the way they feel!





It is my belief that your Mother's medication for depression is either not working or needs to be adjusted, or perhaps she has stopped taking them altogether. Try to find out when she is in a good mood, if she is still taking them or not.





She is also supposed to be on therapy but is probably too busy for it. Would you be willing to help take care of your brother, or at least help to make provisions so that he is being taken care of? so that your mother can attend therapy? and/or counseling?





If you are unfamiliar with depression, please make a search on the internet and take a few minutes to do so. I've included a link to start you off.





You yourself will need to seek another caring adult's advice and/or counsel. You may talk to an advisor or counselor in school. Sometimes there are even phone numbers in your local phone book that you can call for free advice and is usually found in the first page or two.





PS. Your mother isn't crazy. She is just sick. You're all good people. Thanks for having the patience to be there for her (and your brother). I hope you will get the needed help soon. Take care!