How can i overcome my fear of coming out? (long)?

When i was 12, i told my best friend (since b4 kindergarten) that i thought i might be bi. It turns out im gay (still haven't told any of my irl friends that im actually gay instead of bi). The experience from being outed last year has kind of got me afraid of what might happen if im gay.... Mostly i dont want the attention i guess. But here's the story:



at age 12, in the back of my grammas car (wendy's drive through i think:) Best friend will be called 'bob'



"bob, i have something to tell you, can you keep it a secret?"

"sure! what is it?"

"i found out that there is this thing called bisexual, i think i am that"



Age 13, Cafeteria in Jr. High- in line for some pizza with a lot of people that i know.

bob "michael, im going to ask you a question and you hve to swear, right hand to god, that your answer is the truth, and its a BIG sin to lie"

me "uhm, ok? whats the question"

bob "do you swear to god that your straight like all of us?"

me "uhmmmm...."

bob"well?"

me "of course"

later bob says something about going to hell for lying to god.







At age 14, Room 52 in the science wing at school. I am talking to "bob" and another friend- "larry"



bell rings, walk into class... discussion between the three of us. Both of them start looking at me weird after something I said. eventually comes to

bob- "Michael, didn't you tell me a few years ago that you are bi"

me (appalled!)- "idk what you are talking about"

bob goes into full detail

larry- "really? are you seriously bi???!"

Im still sittin there in shock trying to find out what happened....

bob "thats what he told me a while ago...."

larry "OMG, REALLY?! you really need to go to a psychologist''

bob "yeah, really"



then i point out that bob has been going to one about his obesity and ask him about if it helped his inbred genetics. he replies ".......................................鈥?and almost starts bawling



So after all of that, larry tells a bunch of people, who tells one of my really good friends who almost completely stops talking to me and calling me a freak. =[ Eventually it spreads to all of the schools in the district (it was big news because im the only person not seen as not straight in the district) and people start bugging my little 4th grader bro about havin a gay brother. I straighten this out by proving that larry (who told everyone, if you didnt catch that) steals cigarettes and money from his elderly sick gramma. And that bob is a stupid fatass klutz who lies about everything and telling no one to believe them. I still get a person or two that asks if im bi/gay, and i deny it.



All of this has given me an extreme feel about what will happen not only to me, but my smaller family members, if i do come out. Im afraid of being outcast. I also feel that my grandparents (spend more time with them than my parents cause they need a lot of help) will reject me. I think that because she calls her friends gay son a 'fruit', and one time when we went shopping for school clothes, she made me put a reallly nice pair of shoes back. She said they looked like "fruit boots" and that i dont want to look like them.



Im so scared but i want to come out, i think............... what do i do?????????How can i overcome my fear of coming out? (long)?
Aww :(( im sorry your "friend" told your secret D: should be careful next time who you tell. you told him When you were pretty young too :O! shuda waited til high school or something :/ or at least that how long i waited. I came out when i was 15 years old. In highschool More people are mature than middle school. I told my ONLY best friend that i was gay and im glad i did because turns out he was bi. now we can talk about anything and not keep things from each other! :) I understand your fear of coming out because of all the insults, people can be so cruel, but to me people always picked on me about being gay when i was still in the closet. I was just sick and tired of it! and after i told my best friend and a few other close friends i decided that i wanted to be myself and stop worrying about what people think! so now everytime some1 asks if im gay i just simply answer YES! and im shocked to see their reaction..like every1 i told either cheer for me or say "thats cool".

no1 really bothers me about it or says anything (well behind my back im SURE). Now i been the happiest i ever been in my lifeee i made TONS of new friends with my newfound confidence and finally being who i am. All i can say to you is for you to be VERY careful who you tell from now on! come out when you think you are ready! i cant tell you. For me I knew when it was the right time, i just couldnt hold the feelings any longer..and you dont have to come out to your family now either. i still havent come out but thats because they havent ASK yet LOL. Well i Wish you the best of luck and i hope you live your life to its fullest! :)
http://www.glnh.orgHow can i overcome my fear of coming out? (long)?
You are afraid of coming out, yet you are confessing to millions of strangers online?



You post your pic as well?
DONT DO IT!

U still got a whole future ahead of you. Keep it to yourself for now. Give yourself a little more time to figure it out. Because if you told everybody that u're gay then when you discover that you like girls too its hard to go back.....Stuffs like that happen...You never know....

You dont have to answer their question "don't ask , don't tell" policy. You don't have to tell anybody so give it a little more time.. Dont label yourself like then when you're still young ;)How can i overcome my fear of coming out? (long)?
Do not come out,stay in the close
We were all nervous before coming out.

You are not out there by yourself.

Please contact the gay center, the gay hot line and pflag.org. ask for youth groups your age.

Meet other gay kids at these social groups. You will meet other teens who have come out and are feeling better because they have found support.

Find out from your local gay center how you can get a school gay straight club started.

PFLAG will help you come out to your folks. It is a wonderful group started by parents of gay kids who wanted to be more supportive. They hold monthly meetings all over the country. You can get pamphlets from them for you folks.

Again, don't be scared. We are out here to help. Just be glad you are here now-- when I came out we didn't even have the word gay yet. There were no soicial groups, no gay centers, no pflag, and definitely no positive role models on tv. Life is short - be happy.
Well coming out...its the biggest decision you will ever make. I'm still closeted about my orientation, except for a couple of friends who I can trust and are very accepting. You shouldn't worry about what people think because you are you and always have been so they really shouldn't care if your open because you are still you. Anyways well it looks like you need better friends (no offense) look for more accepting people to befriend. And about tell your girlfriends that your gay, really don't worry my friend said he was bi but he is actually gay, and he was actually more accepted by his friends. Yea well good luck, this is the hardest part.